There's a person in every family who puts intentional time into doing what others may not think to do: They put effort into preserving.
That’s you, isn’t it?
When you chose to gift a journal to your grandparent, you weren’t just being thoughtful of them. You truly believe that their story, and be extension, that your family’s story matters, too.
That’s not a small thing.
After the point of giving the gift, we hear that some people get stuck here:
The journal arrives, your grandparent LOVES it. They keep it on their nightstand or on the kitchen counter. Maybe it sits there for a few weeks, and when you ask how it’s going, they might say,
“Oh shoot, I haven’t gotten to it yet, but I will”.
Weeks might turn into months, and you wonder if they’ll actually fill it out.
Plot twist…. This is NORMAL.
Sometimes, older adults carry some complex feelings about writing things down. We’ve seen people be concerned about spelling, or handwriting; it might be too messy or illegible. Sometimes, it’s physically too difficult to write. Maybe it’s a feeling of uncertainty about what’s worth sharing, and maybe it’s just because life just gets so busy.
(They’re wrong about the last one - it’s ALL worth sharing). But, that barrier is real!
Now, here’s where you come in.
You gifted them this journal. And, you know, the journal won’t fill itself out.
It gets filled out when you stay in it with them.
Eventually, you’ll hold that completed journal in your hands to look at whenever you want a warm memory. You’ll read it to your children, share it with your siblings, and reminisce on who they are.
Here are three ways you can be in it with them, so you can cherish their completed journal forever:
Let them talk. You write.
The physical act of writing, or the anxiety of starting at a blank page, can be enough to prevent the ball from rolling. If you’re physically close to your grandparents, instead, sit with them. Ask the question out loud, and let them reminisce while you put pen to paper for them. And, if you live far away, do this anyway. Pick up a blank piece of paper and write. We have a new solution for you coming soon, if this is where you’re at.
Ask them to start anywhere.
Opening to a random page takes the ‘anxiety of starting’ away. It removes the pressure of needing to remember everything from the beginning. Truly, there is no wrong way to fill out his journal. It may make for a fun, spontaneous game!
One question, once a week.
Whether you’re in-person or across the country, pick a day. Sunday morning, Tuesday evening, anything… and pick one question from the journal. A random question might open up more of a conversation than you’d expect!
When you do these things, especially after showing the family that this is important to capture, showing up consistently, and with curiosity, you & your family will come out the other side changed.
It’s not just a gift for her. It’s a gift you’re giving your future family and self.